By Matthew Fu
Part 1
The now fully reconstructed building of Unit 48 bustled with excitement. The holidays have come! Some officers had gone home, like Warren, who’d run off to Montana for his family cabin. Others, like Isaac, stayed in South Dakota. He grabbed a stepladder, and walked down to the lobby. Lots of the crew were bustling around like ants in a hill, stringing lights, adding plastic snowmen, and throwing cotton balls around for “snow”. Isaac grabbed a blue, severed hand. Its stuffing fell out as he picked it up, and headed to the door through which he came. A pair of legs were standing next to the doorway, covered in white fur, feet as blue as the hand Isaac was holding. An upper body lay on the ground, face in a feral roar. Isaac shut the thing’s mouth, to make it smile again. He attached the hand onto the creature with a wrench, and, after a good fifteen minutes of him and Clyde heaving on the upper body, the yeti was formed, smiling at the front door. They slapped a high five, and began stringing the lights.
Rumor was that the members of the unit were going to break into the General’s office while he was gone, and decorate it for Christmas. Clyde, Lydia, and Isaac were sitting over mugs of hot chocolate, as they discussed. “No, we can’t buy another Yeti, Lydia,” Clyde said. Isaac sighed. “Come on, Clyde. Yeti’s are fun! It doesn’t even have to be like Franklin. He was hard to assemble. We could just buy a plush,” he said. Clyde shrugged. “If you want to, assemble it. I’m not doing it. Jacob told me to help stacking the walls with igloo bricks,” he said. Lydia shot up out of her chair, scaring a nearby cafeteria staff member. “I got it! I know a friend. He has this shop full of holiday decorations. I’ll get a very easy-to-assemble yeti,” she said, grinning. Isaac nodded. The meeting was adjourned, and Isaac and Clyde headed up to the office, while Lydia went out to her friend. Isaac whistled as they entered the office. One man, Jacob (the one who accompanied Warren on the trip that cost him his second leg), was high up on a stepladder, stacking blue bricks against the wall. Thank god the walls weren’t too high. Many others swarmed around with plastic snowmen in hand, along with strings of lights and snow globes. Clyde scuttled up the stepladder with Jacob, while Isaac headed out. After an hour, Lydia came back with a giant potato sack, big enough to carry a teenager. Out fell a yeti, with a little hole for a plug in its back. Isaac smiled, while Clyde groaned.
By evening, the team went to dinner, pouring out of the newly decorated office. In the evening, the lights on the third floor sector were turned off, leaving the General’s office in darkness. Isaac was doing a last inspection of the place, when he heard a low growling sound. The hairs stood on his neck, and he shone the flashlight down the hall. He continued down the corridor. Light poured out from the general’s office. “Funny. I swear we turned the light off at dinner,” he thought, approaching the office. Another growl was heard. The door creaked open. A blue hand started to slowly pull the door open. Isaac backed up a step, though he was right in front of the door. The door opened further, showing white fangs, yellow eyes and…,”Isaac?” a voice called. Lydia came walking down the hall. “Lydia! Come look! I saw a blue hand, fangs, eyes…I think the Yeti’s alive or something,” he said, voice trembling. The door shut quietly. The light went out. Lydia raised an eyebrow. “Really? I hope you aren’t making fun of my purchase of the Yeti. My bro in the shop said it was free,” she said, opening the door. The light turned on…to reveal a cheerful scene. The ice bricks were still stacked up. Everything was the way it was before dinner. Lydia closed the door. “Funny, Isaac,” she said, smiling, before sauntering away. Isaac followed. His mind was whirling. “If the Yeti’s electric,” he thought, “then what kinds of things do the General keep in his closet?”
Part 2
Isaac picked at the marshmallows floating serenely in his hot chocolate. “I told you Lydia shouldn’t have gotten that Yeti. You’ll be traumatized for a week, I expect,” Clyde said. Isaac sighed. “Listen, Clyde, I know what I saw. That Yeti is alive. Unless the General is hiding something in this filing cabinet, and even then, no way can that thing fit in the “y” locker. Or the “m” locker,” Isaac said adamantly. Clyde sighed. “Are you sure it wasn’t just you being tired?” he asked. Isaac nodded. “I’m sure,” he said. The day went by in a blur. All the while, decorating the General’s office, Isaac could swear he felt the Yeti’s eyes trailing him. That evening, he, Clyde, and Lydia talked over garlic noodles about the Yeti. “Listen, no one would sell me something for free if it could come alive and eat us all,” Lydia argued. Isaac sighed. “You don’t believe me, then come over and see,” he countered. Clyde chuckled. “Sounds like a plan,” he said.
That evening, the whole unit bundled into the office to relax a bit. As the clock ticked into 10 P.M, they watched as Isaac flicked the switch. The Yeti came to life, waving its mechanical arms and moving its mouth, as the speaker let out a roar. The crew smiled. Suddenly, the Yeti yanked the cord out of its back, and grunted in a crude impression of laughter. It grabbed Jacob, and started to raise him to its mouth. Jacob covered his face with his arms…only to have them chewed on with a tremendous force. He screamed as Isaac and Clyde wrenched him from the now living Yeti’s grip. The unit stampeded out the door. Papers flew. People swarmed for the inventory. Shots were fired. The Yeti roared, swatting the bullets aside somehow. One unlucky private had his leg chewed. It was quite a while before they got the Yeti under control. Someone had a lucky shot down the Yeti’s electrical port. The creature went still. Then, due to the unbalanced weight, it collapsed on the ground. Footsteps were heard coming up the stairs. “It’s the general!” someone whispered. The Yeti was rushed up the stairs. Just as the General came into his office, the white beast was set back where it was. “What on Earth happened here? My papers!” General Vincent said, a bit miffed. “Um…Jacob had a ladder fall. That’s why his arm’s scarred. He cut it,” Isaac said, thinking fast. Vincent shrugged. “Well, then, please help me clean up,” he said. After cleanup, the team left. Isaac had one lingering thought. “I really don’t think that this is the last time the Yeti’s gonna wake up”.
Part 3
“So should we just keep the Yeti unplugged?” Warren asked. He’d sped into the unit building after Isaac emergency called him. Jacob sighed unhappily. “I mean, that could be the only way to do it,” he murmured glumly. Clyde nodded. They’d been debating the Yeti thing for two meals already. At breakfast, Warren had wanted to get rid of the Yeti for good. Everybody opposed him. They went up to the General’s office. The Yeti looked at them menacingly from its frozen position. It stared straight at the door as they went behind it, and pulled the plug. Nothing happened. “Is it that easy?” Clyde asked. Jacob shrugged. “I mean, it’s just one Yeti,” he said, rolling his sleeves down. Warren whistled. “Yo, Jake, you have an old age setting in? Cause you got white hairs on you,” he said playfully. Jacob looked in a mirror, and indeed, a few white hairs were replacing the blond mass that was his head. He shrugged. “Probably just too many all-nighters,” he said. They heard the door creak open, and in stepped Isaac. “You unplugged it?” he asked. The three nodded. Lydia followed Isaac in. “I was thinking I could return it to my friend in the store. After all, it’s been nothing but trouble,” she said. They chorused agreement, and Lydia loaded the Yeti into her car and drove off. They turned, but Isaac stumbled back a pace. “Whoa, Jacob. Are you cold or something? Your face is a bit blue,” he said, concerned. Jacob shrugged. “I mean, I do feel like I’m cryogenically freezing my face off. I’m gonna head in,” he said, stumbling towards the main building. The remaining trio left Jacob to his own devices, and pitched in to help the rest of Unit 48 with decorating the exterior building.
By sunset, lights of red, green, yellow, and blue twinkled cheerfully on the dark, snowy walls. Ornaments hung precariously from the balconies, reflecting the light of the bulbs. Someone gave Franklin, the Yeti at the lobby, a christmas hat. The rails of the balconies were covered in mistletoe. The almost nonexistent sun, shrouded by snow, was beginning to drop down to the horizon. As it was lost under the hills, the crew decided to call it for the night. Clyde, Isaac, and Warren walked in with the rest of the unit, laughing, sharing jokes, and having a great time. Clyde’s face clouded. “We should check on Jacob. I hope he’s warm now,” he said. The trio split from the crowd, and went up to the commons. The guess was that, given the fact that there was a fireplace there, Jacob would take the warmth. A rumbling sound was heard inside. “They’re gonna have to check on the fireplace soon. I got a facefull of soot last time I poked my head in there,” Isaac muttered. They saw Jacob, covered with his puffy jacket, sitting facing away from them, looking at the fire. “Yo, Jake, my man, what’s up?” Warren said cheerfully. Another growl. Jacob turned, and the three screamed. The blue on his face had deepened. The white hair had gone curly, and spread all over his body. His hands were blue. The hood slid off of his head, and two blue horns were visible. He’d become a Yeti. Yeti Jacob roared, charging towards the three…and got a facefull of wooden doors.
Clyde and Isaac sprinted through the halls into the cafeteria, Warren limping behind them on his false legs. “Guys! Yeti on the loose! I think the bite turned Jacob into a Yeti!” Clyde shouted. One second of silence, then the crew ran out, yelling instructions to one another, as people poured out of the cafeteria for the inventory. Isaac ran with Clyde. “I don’t want anyone to kill Jacob,” Clyde said unhappily. Isaac grunted. “We don’t have a choice…if only we had something to turn him back to normal,” he sighed. Clyde halted, and Isaac got a 3-meter lead on him. “Clyde…come on,” he said impatiently. Clyde smiled. “I have a half-baked scheme, and you know what they say about the half-baked plans these days. Come with me!”. With that, he ran off for the med sector. Isaac shook his head. “What is up with him now?” he wondered out loud. By the time he caught up with Clyde, the sergeant was holding a jar of a green substance, the label reading “BUG-148”. Isaac sighed. “You know it’s only ever worked on insect cases,” he said.
“You mean, it’s only been tried on insect cases,” Clyde countered.
“But Jacob’s a Yeti.”
“But this thing reverts organisms.”
Isaac sighed. “Fine. But we’re opening fire as soon as we see it doesn’t work,” he said skeptically. Clyde smiled, and picked up a needle. Back at the commons, it was a mess. The crew struggled with each other to get through the door, while Jacob the Yeti wreaked havoc upon the poor furniture. After a good two minutes, it was Warren who got things under control. Leaning against the door frame, he yanked off a prosthetic leg, and threw it at the Yeti. The metal knee hit Jacob in the head, and he collapsed, unconscious. Clyde wrestled through the crowd into the room. He grabbed the needle, dipped it in the BUG-148, and stabbed it into Jacob the Yeti. He awoke with a surprised grunt at the pain, then began to morph. The blue tint left his skin. The white hair on his arms went away, while the bush of it on his head unfurled, and went back to its floppy blond state. Jacob sat up. “Man, who threw the couch? I was just sitting in it,” he said. The crew gaped at Jacob. “What? I got Yeti horns or something?” he asked, without a hint of irony, as the Yeti horns began to shrink back into his head.
Part 4
The quarantine process would take a while. Mostly, the unit would go member by member to get their shot of BUG-148. However, nothing could ruin the festive vibe of the crew. Apple pie after apple pie came out from the cafeteria. Hot chocolate sat on tables. The crew was enjoying an average holiday, save for the announcements once in a while telling a crew member to get a dose.
“Don’t you think this is a bit drastic?” Isaac asked. Clyde shrugged.
“We don’t know how many people were bitten. It was just a lot of screams,” he replied. After downing his third cup of hot chocolate, Isaac went up to the office and sighed. Clyde followed. “I wish we had another Yeti,” Isaac grunted. “I think Lydia’s out to get another one. A plush,” Clyde replied. Isaac’s eyes widened a bit. “Welp, I hope Lydia can drive fast,” he said anxiously.
Car tires screeched into the parking lot, throwing up snow. Lydia heaved a huge cardboard box into the building. Out rolled three yetis, waist high, each wearing a christmas hat. Lydia, Jacob, and Clyde lugged the three furballs up the stairs to the office, and deposited them, and Isaac set about assembling them in a good position. A tree was being erected in the corner of the commons. Crew members swarmed over it like ants, adding ornaments and decorations. By the end of the hour, it was a wave of lights, ornaments, and green needles. As the last ornament was attached, the next affair was to wrap the presents the crew had bought for each other. Lots of whispering, groaning as the scissors tore, and “I won’t tell you”. Wrapped parcels of all shapes, ranging from simple rectangles to things that looked suspiciously like a stuffed dog, went under the tree. All shades of red, green, and white presents became a base for the tree. As the last gift was shoved under the mighty green pyramid, the crew waited for Vincent, who was said to arrive at the building as the sun went down. The crew went up to the office, and waited. There, they heard the familiar growling of a Yeti. Jacob trembled. Lydia drew her pocket knife. The door opened, and Isaac, covered in white fur and blue skin, lumbered out. The crew screamed, and Isaac exploded in laughter. “My god, I can’t believe you all fell for that! Can you not see the difference between fur and cotton balls?” he said, pulling the white fluff out of his hair. The crew relaxed, just as the general came up the stairs. He smiled. “Ah, I see the practical jokes never end with you, Isaac,” Vincent chuckled. Isaac shrugged. “What can I say, chief? I do love a good scare on the wrong holiday,” he said playfully. The General was escorted to the garage, where his present was apparently awaiting him. There, on the second floor, was a black Chevy Suburban, with the same old turret on its roof. A red bow was on the hood, tied to the bottom of the car. It was almost the same as the old car. Except, since the last one got totalled by an octopus in Las Vegas beyond repair, this one was a new, custom one, built to replace his old trusty car. The General beamed. “Well, now, how did you all afford this?” he asked. The still furry Isaac spoke up. “All of us cashed in some of our money,” he said. Vincent smiled ear to ear.
“Thank you so much, team. Happy Holidays, one and all!”
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